Forgiveness | Take My Hand

Steps to Freedom through Forgiveness

Heavenly Father, Help Me to Forgive

Some of God’s commands are easier to follow than others. Forgiveness seems to be one of God's commands that we feel justified in not obeying. God knows how harmful it is to us when we refuse to forgive. Our minds never rest and our breathing is accelerated. Our stress level is raised and we are kept in crisis mode.

God has the key that sets us free. The key is forgiveness.

Choose to Forgive My Dear Daughters

Do you desire to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness? Are you ready to choose the pathway of obedience and forgiveness? If so, here's some steps that will help you deal with the hurts and offenses you have experienced.

Have you ever experienced any of the following hurts?

Being lied to. Rejected by family. Divorce. Promises broken. Treated unfairly in family/business/finances. Neglected by grown children. Adultery. Alcoholism. Continuous hurtful words or actions. Slandered/falsely accused. Abandoned. Abused (physically, emotionally, sexually). Belittled. Stolen from. Violent crime against yourself and loved one. Publicly humiliated.

As you reflect on the ways you have been offended, do you find any of these statements to be true?

Every time I think of the person or offense, I still feel angry.
I have a secret desire to see the person pay for what they did (revenge).
Deep in my heart, I wouldn’t mind if something bad happened to the person.
I sometimes find myself telling others about how the person hurt me.
If the person’s name comes up, I think and say something negative.
I cannot thank God for the person or the lessons learned during the pain.

Unforgiveness is choosing to hold on to the pain of the offense as if you are justified in keeping a record of wrongs. Saying yes to any of the above is an indication you may be holding on to the pain of the past.

When someone offends us, our hearts get broken. We initially respond by feeling hurt, angry, etc. Remembering the offense when we think of the person keeps us connected to the pain of the offense. That pain is held in place by unforgiveness. It is as if they are handcuffed to us and we are dragging them through our life.

Forgiveness is not ignoring, tolerating, excusing, overlooking, or closing your eyes to the offense. It is not letting time pass, forgetting, shoving it under the rug, or pretending it did not happen or saying, “Well, that’s just the way they are.”

Forgiveness is a commandment of God. It is the path back into an obedient relationship with Christ. It also allows us to find healing from the pain that comes from being hurt by others. It is releasing the offender from the hurt he has caused and leaving the rest up to our faithful and just God. It is a promise to never bring up the offense against him again - - not to God, to others or to the offender himself.

Please note: God is timeless so forgiveness can even be extended to someone who has died.

Look at what God says about forgiveness in the Bible.

A. Do you believe there is no way you could ever forgive that person because they hurt you too deeply?

1. What are some of the hurts Jesus suffered for us?

Isaiah 53:3-7 He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.

2. How has God dealt with us who have all sinned against Him?

Micah 7:18,19 Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea.

3. How did Jesus command us to respond to those who wrong us?

Matthew 6:14,15 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

4. What should be the measure or standard of our forgiveness?

Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

B. Beware of believing the lies of the enemy that will keep you from forgiving.

1. They do not deserve to be forgiven.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

2. I have forgiven them, but I will never be able to forget what they did.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

3. If you still choose not to forgive read Matthew 18: 21-35 The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant and see what you can expect when you refuse to forgive.

Mat 18:32-35 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

The master had forgiven the servant’s debt, but he then refused to forgive a fellow servant’s debt. By the end of the story, both are in prison. This shows that the power of unforgiveness not only binds us but also binds the person we refuse to forgive.

Choosing to Forgive

Do you desire to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness? Are you ready to choose the pathway to forgiveness?

If so, here are some steps that will help you to deal with the hurt and offenses you have experienced.

1. Being led by the Holy Spirit, make a list of the people who have wronged you. Next to each name, write their offense(s) against you.

2. As Christ has forgiven you, fully forgive each offender and offense. You can use the sample prayer below to forgive. Forgiveness is your choice and an act of your free will. Included in the prayer is repenting for your unforgiveness and any other way you have sinned against them.

3. Pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I purpose and choose to forgive (name) from my heart for (what they did). I release them and cancel their debts and obligations to me in this issue. They owe me nothing.

Dear Lord, I confess and repent for my unforgiveness toward them. Please forgive me, and I forgive and release myself from this unforgiveness.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cancel satan’s power, authority, programming, and assignment over me because I have forgiven them and God has forgiven me.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I break any ungodly soul-tie between us.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command all the tormentors that have been assigned to me to leave me now.

I release them into the fullness of my forgiveness.

Holy Spirit please heal my broken heart. Heal what this has done to my body. Bring deliverance and breakthrough. Holy Spirit, please speak to me and tell me Your truth.

4. Listen to what the Holy Spirit says to you and record His loving words.

5. After you have prayed through each person, destroy the list. Do not tell the offender they have been forgiven. That is not necessary and may cause more conflict. Your forgiveness of them was between you and God.

6. Forgiving the person does not produce reconciliation or trust. You have done your part by forgiving the person and repenting of unforgiveness. Reconciliation and trust may not be possible with the person. This is something you leave in God’s hands. Trust must be earned.

7. ONLY if the Holy Spirit is leading you, look for ways to invest positively in the lives of those who have offended you. You can always pray for God to bless and spiritually restore them.

8. Maintain your forgiveness. If a thought of a person that you have already prayed about resurfaces, stop and remember - God has already healed your heart.

If different toxic thoughts about the person repeatedly come to you, or if you still feel the pain in your chest or your stomach of how they hurt you, forgive them again!

This may take time. Perhaps a long time. God loves you, so He is always very thorough. He wants your whole body, mind, will, and emotions to be healed and whole.

9. Thank God for your healed and renewed heart!